look to Thee

I lift up my eyes to you,

to you whose throne is in 

heaven.

As the eyes of slaves look to

the hand of their master,

as the eyes of a maid look 

to the hand of her 

mistress,

so our eyes look to the LORD

our God,

till he shows us his mercy.

-Psalm 123:1-2

how to reside in the Presence of the Lord?

faith -- to set my eyes on Jesus

freed from religious requirements/equipment

responding instead to a constant invitation 

to return the gaze of my soul to HIM

in beautiful abandon


to be present in my simplest callings

ever mindful of His love for me.

reclaiming the truth

I am His Beloved.

Today I ponder how to continually turn my inward eyes to Jesus.  Becoming evermore aware that I am known and loved by Him.  Tozer claims faith need not be defined, so much as lived.  The Bible gives little explanation for what exactly faith is, but rather provides many examples of men and women turning their inner gaze to God over and again.  

How do I do this? I've noticed I am helped by music about God, verses posted throughout our space, habitual giving thanks before meals.  My mind and heart are well when my thoughts are moved back on Him. 

Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, 

who share in the heavenly calling, 

fix your thoughts on Jesus, 

whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest.

Hebrews 3:1 

sanguine frost

ardent eagerness for the thaw 

skin parched by cold air

in tracks moving paw paw

primitive short strolls where

swathed in layers many

savoring sips of sunlight

wishes for warm & sunny

springtime appears, it might

fresh days arrive

the next one looming

shall we survive

optimistic assuming

cheery smiling steps abound

amid the March spring tease

and our hopeful hearts resound:

prolonged walks soon, please?

blissful forfeit

how to live sacrificially

without losing who I am.

Jesus.  

completely Himself,

every moment,

and

He is our perfect example of sacrifice.

And here I am, as a young mother....

knowing that I

relinquish rights

day and night

A right to what?  

my own time?  to do what with, exactly?  

What person has the right 

to shower alone, 

to have times of peaceful quiet,

to watch a movie,

to enjoy a date night

to sleep through the night

?

I take a step back and realize-

privileges these are all.

privileges I let go

in order to revel in the honor of being exactly where I am called to be. 

Mother. Wife. 

How do I choose to be present in this, my calling?

How selfish I have been.

How I long to sacrifice my selfish self and replace her with a beautiful new creation.

and this is already happening

the great Potter molds me,

everyday

eyes opened afresh, once again

my heart grows wings 

with freedom to love

and the knowledge that I've been loved all along.

absent thoughts

mind of mine

where have you gone?

I long

for sabbatical

and so

***

my thoughts take leave

occasionally.

the truancy of 

my thought catalog

bestows the gift of

blissful ignorance.

but where

did my _____ go?

I will climb this Mountain with my hands wide open.

One. Year. In.

We are camped out after the first day's hike.  Finding shelter in a little tent illuminated with a lantern of love.  Shocked into the reality of the life of climbing up into the glory God has called us to.  I had no idea it could be like this.  There is a satisfying soreness that accompanies a big new day of hiking for miles up sharp inclines.  In much this way, the muscle of my heart is sore from change/JOY/growth/hard moments/tears of happiness/sleep deprivation/wonder of life/JESUS is so good. And there are yet multitudinous days ahead.

Breathing in new air.

Filled with anticipation of what is to come, entirely unable to predict what the journey ahead holds.  Anyone who claims having children is "settling down" doesn't have a clue as to the heart wrenching joy-filled adventure it truly is.  Hidden in the throes of life, seemingly normal and everyday, THIS is a real-time lesson in LOVE, sacrifice, needforJesuseverysecond.

Where is the spring?

Spring of water, cup of life, fill me up oh Lord.  This beautiful pilgrimage I find myself called to-- I need a better trail mix/energy shake/source of strength.  Dreamy days of long walks outside, sunscreen at the park, inhaling fresh air, chasing our large shadows in the bright hot sun, picnics galore. I foresee these sweet delights.  

Striding forward as cheerfulness comes and goes.  

I never knew a tear stained face and light step could somehow fit together.  

Yet on I go, longing for new life, and finding it in You.

Turning

*eyes*mind*heart*

heavenward.

rejoicing.thanking.asking.clinging.

oh God, be near.

I bloom in the Presence of Greatness.